In the navel

3 December, 2012 (11:37) | All articles | By: Stuart Fraser

Isn’t it the case that when a star comes to the end of its life it sort of implodes, turning in and in on itself until it disappears up its own fundament, leaving a black hole sucking in the unwary passer-by?

So it is with the national media, now feeling the pitiless gravitational pull of its own fluff-encrusted navel. Lord Leveson has tried to get his judicial finger in there, wiggle it about a bit and get rid of all the nasty bits of detritus that have accumulated over the decades, but it seems he really only had a cursory fiddle before escaping the forcefield.

The BBC can pontificate about the Meeja in an agony of self-pity. Politicians can think up arguments designed to prevent Leveson from resulting in any scrutiny of their squalid affairs. Celebrities can be oh-so-injured. Thousands can be persuaded to sign a petition calling on the wretched Cameron to implement Leveson’s recommendations.

And not much will change. There are no new laws, apart from a body to enforce the independent press regulator’s judgements, the so-called statutory underpinning. Well, we can all look forward to that, can’t we? Let’s hope it’s as successful and popular as all the other watchdogs, eh? Ofsted? The energy watchdog designed to stop the energy companies profiteering? Ofcom, designed to reign in BT’s excesses? I can hardly wait.

Before Leveson, the laws of the land governed the worst excesses of the press and were supposed to prevent bribery and corruption too. After Leveson, those laws are unchanged. Before Leveson, if you slept with a C-list reality show ‘celebrity’ you could expect thousands of tabloid hacks to camp out on your lawn. After Leveson, if you sleep with a C-list reality show ‘celebrity’ you could expect thousands of tabloid hacks to camp out on your lawn. (If there are any C-list reality show ‘celebrities’ out there interested in undertaking an experiment, purely for scientific reasons, I imagine Brother Fiddle would be delighted to oblige).  Before Leveson, if you, God forbid, were involved in some newsworthy tragedy you could expect thousands of hacks to camp out on your lawn. After Leveson, the same.

What Leveson has done is highlight the difficulties faced by celebrities, MPs and families involved in tragedy. It has highlighted the fact that there are laws of the land to prevent crimes such as phone hacking. We can hope it has played its part in a new climate of accountability of the press, of intolerance of law-breaking and corruption.

But if the successors of the News of the World print 18 pages of pictures of naked celebrities tomorrow, maybe telephoto-lensed on the beaches, do you think people would buy?

Meanwhile, Leveson failed to address the media issue that affects all of us most – what is called the democratic deficit.

After decades in which local and regional newspaper ownership has passed into the hands of fewer and fewer corporate owners, driving bigger and bigger unsustainable profit margins, the press that deals with the lives we all lead –council tax, planning, crime, punishment, 999 services, roads, schools – has suffered chronic under-investment. Each time the corporations have cut back, the newspapers’ circulation has plummeted further. Now we live in a country where nobody knew who was standing to be our police commissioner because nobody buys local newspapers any more.

It’s no good newspapers inviting people to submit their own stories and their own photographs for free: such behaviour cheapens the value of what was once a professionally created product, and readers vote, as they have been doing, with their wallets. People bought their newspapers to see what was happening in their community, and inclusion was validation, was important, was sought after. But down to the last detail, things have changed: it’s no good not editing text properly, for example – readers don’t like it when you spell the name of their town or village wrong.

So Leveson could have done what many of us have suggested for years: insist on ownership tests for the press, insist on a subsidy to enable regional and local papers to cover the issues that are important: local democracy, local crime and punishment, local education, local planning…. People say nobody’s interested in these things any more, calling as evidence the fact that nobody buys papers any more. But it’s a chicken and egg argument. If there’s a controversial planning application in your village, you’ll buy the paper – but the chances of it being covered these days are less than they once were. People say the internet has replaced local papers. Go on then, look for news from the local magistates’ court on the internet. Your council tax? You’ll find detail on the council’s website, but is that independent coverage?

With a properly staffed, properly qualified, professional, properly paid, committed local and regional press, the country would have a great deal more scrutiny of the allegedly great and the good, and maybe corruption would stand a better chance of being exposed than having to wait for a Parliamentary inquiry.

But this is an opportunity missed.

(Incidentally, Cameron said he would implement Leveson’s recommendations as long as they weren’t bonkers. Imagine if that were Cameron’s test for all policy: we will only introduce proposals that aren’t bonkers. Michael Gove wouldn’t get much done, would he? Or the rest of them, really.)

Why me?

The new energy bill requires you and I to stump up more money to invest in renewable energy, apparently.

The big six paid out £6.2bn to shareholders in 2010. No, that’s not investment in alternative or future energies, that’s dividends paid out to people who own shares in their companies. Total pre-tax profits of the big six in 2010: £8.55bn. Profits in the first half for this year for one of them, EDF, who have put up prices by 10.8%: £1.58billion.

Why is it we’re being asked to fork out? Again?

Imagine how much money we’d have for renewable, clean energy if we didn’t have to fund these profits for shareholders.

Why him?

What a big week it’s been: Brother Bertie’s magnificent foliage scooped our local first prize for Movember, moustache growing in aid of research into male cancers.

More importantly, somewhere approaching £500 was raised, which is a stunning achievement, notably by Brother Doney and Pink Paul.

The contest was judged by that grand master of the moustache, Brother Numbers. All are now eagerly looking forward to the public judging finale to the next great charity event, Fanuary. Especially Brother Numbers.

Oh – and let me point out that I really don’t want to hear any of your fund-raising plans for October.

Why her?

Then our Luvvie Brother organised a splendid euchre world championship, which was really exceedingly loud fun. Leanne Rendle was crowned the new world champion (Linkinhorne rules), but many of our Brothers and Sisters were among the assembled. This all added another £200 or so to Erin’s Fund for Life, of which more later. And the Henry Blofeld Trophy, signed by the very great man himself, naturally had pride of place.

 

Comments

Comment from Old Fiddle
Time December 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

Not sure about a C list celebrity. Can’t I have an A list one? Preferably female.

Comment from bertie
Time December 4, 2012 at 12:13 pm

A list, Brother Fiddle? No problem. I hear Brother Wham (aka George Michael) is quite often on the prowl

Comment from hamster
Time December 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

What a week, I agree with every word accept Meeja… tut, tut, more urban slang, and I am surprised Brother Fiddle let you off the hook. Please can we have some rural slang.

Comment from hamster
Time December 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

This weeks Hamster Top Tip – Don’t knock it until you have tried it.

Comment from Old Fiddle
Time December 4, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I think ‘Meeja” was written with a certain amount of irony, Hamster. And Bertie, I stated my preference was female, although, as Hamster said: “Don’t knock it…..”

Write a comment

You need to login to post comments!