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The jubilee is over. Paul McCartney and Elton John have pitilessly tortured a few of their golden greats into exhausted submission, comedians such as Peter Kay, Lee Mack, Jimmy Carr and Rob Bryden have cast away their reputations and respect by gambolling respectfully but unfunnily in their jesters’ motley, the BBC has bored a nation into submission, mad people in Union Jack hats have shouted “she’s marvellous, marvellous, PROUD TO BE BRITISH!!!!!” and His Royal Highness The Duke Of Edinburgh, God Bless Him (not a gaffe-prone racist any more now he’s in his 90s) can pee in comfort again. We must, then, count down to the Olympics.

Ah, the Corinthian spirit: international peace and brotherhood for all.

Or…

Well, for starters, McCartney is apparently threatening to inflict himself on the opening ceremony, though by then the startled mask that used to be his face will be hauled so tightly round the front of his skull he’ll look like the bastard lovechild of Master Yoda and Joan Rivers.

And then there’s the money. There’s always the money. Leaving aside the vast fortune the International Olympic Committee has decreed the British taxpayer must hand over, what about this little issue brought to the attention of us all by Brother Hamster?

Wondered why that great Corinthian amateur Usain Bolt has not set foot on a British track since 2009? Because it will cost him.

The BBC (www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/18213316 ) reports:

“The UK, like most countries, demands a share of any appearance or prize money earned by overseas stars when they compete here. But unlike most countries, the UK also wants a cut of any endorsement income earned by those visitors during their stay.

“Until recently, this meant Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs (HMRC) divided the amount of days somebody like Bolt competed in the UK by the amount of days he competed anywhere, and then sent a tax demand for that proportion of his total earnings.

“This, potentially, could be quite a sum, as the Jamaican billboard is earning almost £10m a year in endorsements and only competes 10 days or so a year.

“Bolt’s response to this threat was as straightforward as most of his races; he simply decided to stay away. And he has not been the only one.

“If it was not for the Open and Wimbledon being dates of such central importance, it is entirely possible the best overseas players would listen to their accountants and give Britain a miss entirely.

“Stephen Dunham, an independent tax expert, believes … ‘The danger is that the UK will be seen as closed to sport, deterring organisers from considering the UK as a location for their event and prompting athletes to question whether a UK event should be in their schedules.’

“Buried between the booze and fags in his Budget speech in March, Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne announced ‘training days’ would now be taken into account when HMRC makes its assessments.

“So, instead of dividing UK competition days by worldwide competition days, the sum is now time spent in the UK training and competing, divided by time spent training and competing anywhere.

“A smaller number, certainly, but not small enough to get Bolt to July’s London Grand Prix.

“The Olympics, like the Open or Wimbledon, are too big to miss, but they are also staged in a tax-free bubble.

“As a condition of bidding for the Games, the International Olympic Committee demands that every host waives the right to tax the participants. London 2012 became a tax haven on 30 March and will not be back under HMRC’s auspices until 8 November. Fill your spikes, Usain.”

Grim, isn’t it? Top athletes who should daily be on their knees thanking a beneficent providence that they’re able to become multi-millionaires by running, jumping and kicking are instead sitting mumbling in a corner counting their lovely, lovely money.

Why should it be their right to avoid sharing any of their millions? I don’t remember ever being let off so much as a penny by the Revenue. Payslips rarely contain any instructions about temporary tax havens. The IOC has never acted to help me avoid contributing to the greater good of society.

It’s a good debate, though. Is it better to have athletes generating interest and events and money but not paying tax, or to have a fair tax policy but no events to contribute to the economy?

The latter, if you ask me: after all, the papers are full of reports about people staying away from London because of the Olympics, and as far as I can see most hosts have posted a net loss on the whole sorry fiasco.

But one thing’s for certain sure: when something as simple as a running race can degenerate into a debate like this, we’ve made our world far too complicated.

Talking of going for gold…

In distressing scenes reminiscent of the retreat from Moscow, many brothers and sisters had to be assisted home after yesterday’s celebration of the golden wedding anniversary of Old Father Cullingham and his Management, who put on a wonderful party with virtually no arguing at all. I know everybody enjoyed congratulating them. We all think the world of them.