Saving Wales?

25 February, 2013 (14:59) | All articles | By: Stuart Fraser

Here’s how bad it’s got here in England: the Welsh are offering us aid. Jeez.

The Welsh Assembly is considering offering tax breaks to English people who move to what, by law, we are obliged to call the principality, even if we don’t believe in princes.

I hope they’re very big tax breaks: it’s not so long ago there were bad jokes about ‘coming home to a real fire’ because Welsh separatists were burning down English holiday homes. And anybody who’s spent a lifetime following rugby has a chill run up and down the spine whenever that lilting accent is heard. Given my experiences playing against Welsh clubs, I have a chill run up and down some more tender parts, too.

As you well know, I’m not an ‘ist’ of any kind, and certainly not racist. But Wales. Wales taking pity on the English. Jeez.

I hope they’re prepared to be trampled in the rush: it finally does seem to be dawning on the English that they’ve got it awfully, spectacularly wrong.

Gazing at affordable properties or a decent environment in Wales, or looking at free tuition in Scottish universities or free care for the elderly in Scotland, or hearing that the latest rises in prescription charges won’t apply in Wales or Scotland… Well, the English can only be kicking themselves from here to Christmas that over the past 30 years they obediently did as they were told by the moneyed public school educated ruling classes, placed their faith in the free market and ended up munching horse burgers.

Of course, this is not the whole story: the Welsh are doing this to boost their economy as government expenditure far exceeds income – but isn’t that a familiar story over the Severn, Mr Osborne?

A Scottish Widows UK-wide survey this week revealed eight million adults have no savings at all; one in three adults is not saving anything; one third of those with savings have less than £1,000 in the bank. Proud achievements for a government, a fine comment on the state of the economy they have overseen. Talk about a ticking time bomb!

Perhaps the English will finally realise that Mr Osborne and his pals really have to either change what passes for their minds, or go. If that happens, if the kracken awakes, if people really do realise that this government has left them in a worse state than even the bankers could manage, then the Tories have about as much chance as Nick Clegg in a by-election.

High and dry

What a splendid week it’s been: the simple joy of not having to wipe down the animals every time they come into the house, of not trailing mud everywhere, of not being pursued everywhere by the stench of wet waterproofs, of not falling over in the slime of the woods, of being able to be outside, of seeing a line full of drying washing, of seeing flowers blooming…. Well, it’s been such a delight. The snowdrops have been truly breathtaking in our Cornish hedgerows and there’s every sign the Spring bulbs are going to give us as great a show. Seeds are ready, the garden and polytunnel dug, the garden tidier… perhaps life can start again.

Inside, it’s been great too: Brother Yardie has allowed me to handle his instrument, and I haven’t enjoyed anything as much in years. Missis. At the grand old age of 47, I’m playing an electric guitar for the first time – and kicking myself at how much easier it is than my acoustic (though I love that still, of course). When Brother Yardie prizes his axe out of my grasp, I shall have to get a credit card from that nice Mr Osborne so I can go and buy one of my own. And we’re all very much enjoying the tutelage of Brother Fiddle, too. Even the Brother Who Must Not Be Named has burst into song.

On their bikes

Talking of whom… I very much hope the Brother Who Must Not Be Named will give us the benefit of his view on news that the Oxford English Dictionary has dropped the words “long hair” and “dirty denims” in its definition of “biker”… apparently 74 per cent of motorcyclists believed the definition to be inaccurate. I never thought I’d live in a world where bikers got together to bring pressure to bear on a dictionary over a definition…

Comments

Comment from Stuart Fraser
Time February 28, 2013 at 1:26 pm

The Brother Who Must Not Be Named tells me long hair and denims are definitely out for today’s biker. Apparently 21st century bikers are split between the tattoos and leather waistcoats brigade on the one hand, and on the other, those who ride comfy bikes with fairings wearing one-piece leathers – what the Brother describes as a biker’s onesie. Anything to add, Brother Bertie?

Comment from bertie
Time March 1, 2013 at 8:22 pm

All I can add is that, there is no connection between a “comfy” bike (commonly known as a Volvo) and a “one piece leather” suit. Anyone who thinks so, obviously only drives a tractor…

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